1 Kings 21: God Punishes Ahab's Son for a Murder His Father Did Not Commit

Naboth the Jezreelite: What a beautiful vineyard I have here in Jezreel, Right next to the palace of Ahab, king of Samaria, too.

Ahab: Hi. Give me your vineyard. I want to make a spice garden. I'll replace it will a vineyard of greater value or money. Your choice.

Naboth: Oh, I couldn't! The Lord forbid it, that I should give the inheritance of my fathers to you.

Ahab: Man, this is just not my day. I'm going home to bed.

LATER

Jezebel: Honey, what's wrong? You've gone to bed without even eating. You look so sad.

Ahab: Naboth won't sell me his land. I even made a really great offer for it. I really, really, wanted that spice garden.

Jezebel: Aren't you the king of Israel? Don't be such a baby. Get up, eat something, and I'll make sure he sells his land to you.

Ahab: Really? Thanks, Jezebel, you are a wonderful wife.

LATER

Jezebel: I'll just write a couple letters in Ahab's name, seal them with his seal, and send them to the elders and nobles of the city telling them to accuse Naboth of blaspheming God and the king. Then, he will be stoned, and Ahab will get his spice garden.

LATER

Elders and Nobles: So, Ahab wants us to falsely accuse Naboth of Blaspheming God and King? Well, why not. We have nothing better to do.

LATER

Messenger: Message for Jezebel from the elders of the city of Naboth.

Jezebel: Me? Why would they send the letter to me? I sent it under Ahab's name and seal. They should have sent it to him.

Messenger: I just deliver them, lady. Do you want the message or not?

Jezebel: Sure.

Messenger: Naboth has been stoned and is dead. Stop.

Jezebel: Excellent! I'll go tell Ahab right now! Ahab, get up and get your spice garden. Naboth is dead.

Ahab: Awesome! I'll go immediately! Yay! Spice gardens!

LATER

God: Elijah! Hey, Elijah!

Elijah the Tishbite: Yes, God?

God: Arise, go down to meet Ahab king of Israel, which is in Samaria. Behold, he is in the vineyard of Naboth, where he is gone down to possess it. You tell him, I said, "Have you killed, and also taken possession?" And you shalt speak to him, saying, "Thus says the Lord, 'In the place where dogs licked the blood of Naboth shall dogs lick your blood, even yours.'"

Elijah: Okay. But, is it far to accuse Ahab of murdering Naboth? I heard that Jezebel was the one who sent the letters to the elders to kill Naboth. Heck, they even sent the letter confirming his death to her, not Ahab. Ahab appears to have no knowledge of the matter.

God: Really? You sure? I thought the letters were signed by him and sealed with his seal?

Elijah: That's because Jezebel took them, apparently. Look, if the elders of the city of Naboth could see through the deception, shouldn't you?

God: Well, be that as it may or may not be, just deliver my message.

Elijah: Yes, Lord.

LATER

Ahab: So, my old enemy, you have found me again.

Elijah: Yes, I have found you because you have sold yourself to work evil in the sight of the Lord. So, God will bring evil upon you, and take away your prosperity, and cut you off from him that pisses against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will make your house like the house of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, and like the house of Baasha the son of Ahijah, for the provocation wherewith you have provoked me to anger, and made Israel to sin.

Ahab: Awful!

Elijah: And the dogs shall eat Jezebel by the wall of Jezreel. Him that dies of Ahab in the city the dogs shall eat, and him that dies in the field shall the fowls of the air eat.

Ahab: Uh, what has Jezebel done?

Elijah: She forged a letter in your name that got Naboth killed.

Ahab: So, God is punishing me for something my wife did without my knowledge or approval?

Elijah: Well, that, plus, you did very abominably in following idols, according to all things as did the Amorites, whom the Lord cast out before the children of Israel.

Ahab: I see. Well, I am going to rend my cloths, put on sackcloth and fast, for my shame.

God: See, Elijah, how Ahab humbles himself before me? Because he humbles himself before me, I will not bring the evil in his days, but in his son's days will I bring the evil upon his house.

Elijah: Really? Your going to visit evil on the son of the man who committed evil, rather than the man himself? Your ideas of justice are interesting, to say the least.

God: I try.