Servant: Solomon, some women is out here, says she wants to speak to you.
Solomon: What she look like?
Servant: Not bad. She appears to be quite rich, she's brought a whole train with her of camels with spices, gold, precious stones...
Solomon: Don't just stand there, you dolt! Send her right in!
Servant: Will do.
Queen of Sheba: Hello, Solomon, I've heard of your great wisdom, and I've come see if they are true by asking you hard questions.
Solomon: Well, I hope questions are not the only things you can think of to make...hard.
Queen of Sheba: Oh, you!
Solomon: So, shoot, ask your questions, I'm ready.
Queen of Sheba: What has four legs in...
Solomon: Man.
Queen of Sheba: Wow. You're good. Try this, a man goes to town on Friday...
Solomon: His horse is named Friday.
Queen of Sheba: Damn. Okay, Soylent Green...
Solomon: Is people.
Queen of Sheba: Wow, you really are the smartest person in the world. And your house is wonderful, with such nice looking ministers and servants. The spirit is gone out of me. When I heard of your fame, I didn't believe it, but here you are, with such happy people. Why, it's even better than I heard. Blessed be the Lord your God, which delighted in you, to set you on the throne of Israel, because the Lord loved Israel forever, therefore made you king, to do judgment and justice.
Solomon: Yeah, I am kind awesome.
Queen of Sheba: Please, let me give you a hundred and twenty talents of gold, and many store of spices, and precious stones.
Solomon: Well, if it would make you fell better.
Servant: Solomon, the navy of Hiram, has just brought gold from Ophir, and great plenty of almug trees, and precious stones.
Solomon: Use the trees to make pillars of for the house of the Lord, and for my house, harps also and psalteries for singers.
Servant: Are you sure? I hear the almug trees are endangered, these might be the last of their kind.
Solomon: Even better. Now, Queen of Sheba, thanks very much, now, please, ask for anything, it's yours. Anything. At all.
Queen of Sheba: Oh, Solomon, I will.
LATER
Queen of Sheba: Good-bye, Solomon! Good-bye!
Servant: She's leaving already?
Solomon: Yep.
Servant: What did she ask for?
Solomon: Oh, gold, precious stones, spices. You know, the usual things.
Servant: No hanky-panky?
Solomon: Nope. Not even a little.
Servant: Um, does her train look bigger now than when she arrived?
Solomon: Well, it should be, she had to carry all the stuff she asked for back with her.
Servant: Don't tell me, she asked for all the stuff she gave you back?
Solomon: And then some.
Servant: Hmmm. She may be even smarter than you.
Solomon: I'm beginning to suspect.
Servant: Well, no worries, Solomon. We've still collected six hundred threescore and six talents of gold this year. Beside that we have of the merchantmen, and the traffic of the spice merchants, and of all the kings of Arabia, and of the governors of the country.
Solomon: Good. Servant, make two hundred targets of beaten gold. Six hundred shekels of gold into each target. Make three hundred shields of beaten gold with three pounds of gold in each one and put them in the house of the forest of Lebanon.
Servant: You do realize that gold makes lousy shields, right? It's a very soft metal.
Solomon: But it looks cool. And rich. Also, have made a great throne of ivory, also overlaid with the best gold. The throne shall have six steps, and the top of the throne should be round behind. Have the makers put stays on either side on the place of the seat, and two lions stood beside the stays. And have him put twelve lions stood on both sides of the six steps.
Servant: Wow, that is manly!
Solomon: I know!
Servant: Truly, Solomon, what with all your eating utensils being gold, the navy of Tharshish with the navy of Hiram bringing in gold, and silver, ivory, and apes, and peacocks, your wealth exceeds all the kings of the earth for riches.
Solomon: And for wisdom. Don't forget, all the earth seeks to hear my wisdom, which God had put in my heart.
Servant; And your modesty.
Solomon: And don't forget my chariots and horsemen. I've gathered together a thousand and four hundred chariots, and twelve thousand horsemen. I've made silver to be in Jerusalem as stones, and cedars made he to be as the sycomore trees that are in the vale, for abundance. I've had horses brought out of Egypt, and linen yarn. Why, just the other day, a chariot came up and went out of Egypt for six hundred shekels of silver, and a horse for an hundred and fifty and so for all the kings of the Hittites, and for the kings of Syria, did they bring them out by their means.
Servant: You're still a little sore about the Queen of Sheba, aren't you?
Solomon: Little bit.
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